Benefits to Spaying and Neutering Your Pet

I wanted to discuss the extremely important topic: benefits to spaying and neutering your pet. This topic is talked about extensively by veterinary practices, animal welfare organizations, and popular T.V. shows.

I wanted to discuss it here, too. Let me tell you why…

A couple weeks ago, I decided to watch an HBO documentary regarding people’s relationships with dogs. I thought it could be an interesting story on how dogs are much more part of the family and how much we will do to protect them.

I could not have been more wrong.

Documentary Findings

The documentary was broken into 3 parts.

Segment 1

The first segment discussed how some owners/pet parents will do anything to make sure their dog is kept in the home even if it is truly aggressive.  (Which is another blog for another day) Then it discussed the overpopulation in animal shelters in the certain areas of the Midwest.

Segment 2

My heart is broken with this segment, and to be honest, I could not stop sobbing at what happened. The documentary takes us to a shelter where they euthanize dogs by placing them in a big container and gassing them until they die.

These dogs, who are already scared of being in kennels, now are terrified as they are placed in a container with the lid closed. You can hear their cries as the container was being pumped full of a gas.

Once the first round of dogs were euthanized, they placed more dogs on top of the dead bodies and proceeded to gas them. After they were all dead, a garbage truck picks up the container and dumps their lifeless bodies in the back of the truck…like trash.

Segment 3

I can’t even remember what the third segment was because segment 2 took all of my attention.

This Didn’t Have to Happen

Yes, the visual in the documentary is devastating. Yes, you may be overcome with emotion as well, but that’s the point. This story didn’t have to happen, and these dogs did not have to die this way. If everyone did their part in caring for their pets, we could have avoided this situation.

Now, let’s look forward.

We CAN reduce the number of euthanasias in the United States by simply spaying and neutering our pets. It is a simple procedure. Not only can spaying and neutering have an impact on the overpopulation in our shelters, it also has health and behavior benefits.

Benefits to Spaying and Neutering Your PetWhat Happens When Pets are Not “Fixed”

Female Dogs

According to VCA, female dogs can have 1 – 2 heat cycles a year starting when they are between 6 -24 months old, where they can get pregnant. Some smaller breeds can have up to 3 cycles.

These pregnancies can produce 1 – 13 puppies dependent on the size/breed of dog. If a female dog is not spayed, and she has 2 litters a year for 5 years (conservative number), she may give birth to up to 130 puppies. If her puppies are not fixed, the cycle repeats.

Female Cats

Female cats, on the other hand, start the heat cycles between 4-10 months old and will go into heat up to 5 times a year. Each pregnancy can result in birthing an average of 1-5 kittens; however, there have been many females who birth up to 10 babies.

If a female cat gets pregnant in 3 of the heat cycles a year, and bears 5 kittens in each cycle, she will have up to 15 kittens a year. Even conservatively, a cat can birth up to 150 babies or more in 10 years.

Where do These Babies End Up?

Can you imagine the cat population if her female kittens are not spayed?

These numbers can be staggering. What are the chances these puppies and kittens will find their forever homes? Some will. Unfortunately, for unplanned pregnancies, many get put out on the street where they begin to reproduce or they end up at the local animal shelter.

Health Benefits to Spaying and Neutering Your Pet

To avoid the number of homeless pets, it is important to get our furbabies spayed or neutered as soon as possible. Not only will it have an impact on the population, it also has health benefits for our pets.

Females

The ASPCA recommends spaying your female before the first heat cycle, as it will reduce the risk of uterine infections and breast tumors. These conditions can be malignant or cancerous in approximately 50% of dogs and 90% of cats.

Males

A male can be neutered as early as 8 weeks, as long as he is healthy; however the average age of neutering is approximately 6 – 9 months old. Neutering will reduce the risk of testicular cancer and other prostate issues.

The health benefits outweigh the cost as it allows our pets to live longer, healthier lives!

(If cost is prohibitive, there are many communities that have low-cost or fee-assistance programs for lower income households. Contact your local Humane Society for more information.)

Behavior Benefits to Spaying and Neutering Your Pet

Spaying and neutering also reaps some behavior benefits…

  • You don’t have to deal with yowling and more frequent urinating from female cats.
  • Your male dog doesn’t need to find a mate, so he is less likely to devise a plan of escape from home!
  • Some aggression issues and marking may be thwarted with an early neuter.
  • You will keep your sanity.
  • You will not have to spend money on veterinarian bills or supplies for new puppies or kittens.

Economic Benefits to Spaying and Neutering Your Pet

We have discussed some health and behavior benefits, but how does this simple procedure affect the economy…our communities?

Benefit #1

The first benefit is the reduction of the animal overpopulation in the United States. If we spay and neuter our pets, we can reduce the number of animals on the streets and in the shelters. In turn, this reduces the number of euthanasias in the animal shelters.

According to petfinder.com (using ASPCA estimates)

  • Approximately 8 – 12 million pets enter animal shelters each year.
  • Every year approximately 5-9 million shelter animals are euthanized.
  • 50% of dogs and 70% of cats in shelters are euthanized due to lack of adopters.
  • Every 6 seconds in the United States alone an animal is euthanized.
Benefit #2

The second benefit is improvement within our community. Stray animals in our neighborhoods can cause health and safety concerns. These concerns are unclean play areas for children (think sand boxes!) car accidents, disease, and even the possible killing of livestock or other pets.

Reducing the number of unwanted pets on the streets can increase health and safety and can potentially reduce financial strain from having to pay for any damages.

Conclusion

Spaying and neutering our pets will benefit our pets, our families, and our communities. We will have pets that lead longer, healthier lives. We will reduce the number of unwanted cats and dogs on the streets or in the shelters, and we will reduce the number of needless euthanasias.

Please take this information to heart. If your pet is not intended to breed, and if you are not a qualified breeder, please be responsible and spay and neuter your furbaby. They will thank you for it and the community will thank you for it.

What Do You Think?

Let me know if you have any thoughts on this topic. I would love to hear what you have to say, so leave a note below.

Facebook Charity Donations?

Have you noticed social media is great at reminding you about your friends’ and family’s birthdays and that sure enough…you are getting older too.

Facebook is great about sending these notifications and adding the option to contribute to Facebook Charity Donations requests.

For one to two weeks prior to my birthday, Facebook leaves a post saying they will donate $1.00 to the charity I support for my birthday, and then ask if I want to set up a charity donation for that specific organization. From a social media standpoint, it looks like a great idea…but I have a few thoughts about this.

The History of Facebook Charity DonationsFacebook Charity Donations?

I first joined the Facebook Community back in 2009 around the time I was pregnant with my first baby. Facebook gave me the opportunity to reconnect with family and friends I hadn’t talked to in years. It was awesome!

Now, I had the opportunity to share pictures of my new baby, ask questions about motherhood, and…get reminded about my family and friends’ birthdays.

Beginnings of Charity Donations

It wasn’t until 2017 when Facebook added a new feature that allows their members to solicit funds for their favorite charity. Instead of getting gifts or cards, Facebook members can request a donation be made in honor of their birthday. The fundraiser can set a goal amount, post a personal message, and bam! A fundraiser has been born.

The Outward Appearance of Facebook Charity Donations

From the outside, setting up a donation for your birthday looks to be a great opportunity to help out a non-profit organization. You have the ability to choose the organization, put it on your Facebook feed, and let Facebook continually remind your friends, family, acquaintances, random people you don’t even remember adding as a friend, that you are having a fundraiser. The system keeps track of how much has been donated, and what your total goal is for the organization.

This is a great idea to be able to help an organization without really doing anything. You can donate as little or as much as you want, and at the end of the day, you feel good about yourself.

Do I Feel Compelled to Give to Facebook Charity Donations Request?

My sister started a Facebook fundraiser for her birthday, and she shared her two cents.

“It makes it easier for some to be able to show a little birthday support for people they don’t normally buy gifts for. This has happened to me; I got donations from people who never give gifts but they appreciated the opportunity to support a cause they believe in and get points with me for my birthday.”

I understand this perspective. It makes sense to give $5.00 as a small token, and then move on with your day. The birthday girl or guy gets a pat on the back, and the charity receives a small donation.

Now, most of us on Facebook have over 100 friends. But… have you noticed that these fundraisers tend to raise $200 or less? Why is that? Could it be compassion fatigue? Are we worn out with all of our friends asking for donations for their birthdays?

For example, I currently have 413 friends on Facebook. Chances are, if all 413 friends started a fundraiser for their birthdays, my news feed would only have room for their requests. That is extremely overwhelming for me.

It also makes me ask myself, “Do I feel compelled to give?” The overarching answer is yes, but… I have to dig deeper into the why. Why do I feel compelled? Is it only to make me feel better about myself for doing a nice thing? Do I feel guilted into it because my friend is requesting a donation? Do I really support the cause of the fundraiser, or am I just trying to get the request off of my news feed?

My goal is to be able to donate money to a charity to help them; not to make myself feel good or get myself noticed by others. Don’t get me wrong…these fundraisers are helping non-profit agencies, and are bringing awareness of the needs out there. I may donate to a friend’s cause, but maybe not for a Facebook birthday fundraiser.

Why Only Donate on My Birthday?

My thoughts boil down to this question…Why only donate on my birthday? To make a real impact to the community, donations should be on a regular basis. A one time offering of $5 will help a bit, but why not make it $5 a week or $5 a month?

There are so many organizations that are in need of monetary donations. These donations sustain their businesses so they can impact communities…OUR communities. Consider making a monthly donation to your favorite charity, but don’t base it on a Facebook birthday. Base your donations on how you can help non-profits stay afloat.

Conclusion

I understand many people appreciate the ability to use Facebook birthday fundraisers. It makes sense…and keep using it. In this, you are still able to impact the lives of others, but I challenge you to ask yourself why you are making a donation. Don’t do it because you can be seen. Don’t do it because you feel guilted into it. Do it to help others.

For those who are a little more skeptical of these types fundraisers, I encourage you to set up a monthly donation to your favorite charity, and if you are unable to give monetarily, go and volunteer. They can use your hands and feet, too! You can also set up a community fundraiser that can benefit the organization. Even though I was unable to give monetarily, I have been able to use my skills to facilitate fundraisers such as a Reverse Karaoke Night and a Shopping Boutique. These were so much fun, but they also helped the organization they were set up for.

Do You Have a Favorite Organization?

Are you looking to find an organization to give to? There are plenty to choose from. For example, each community has a number of animal shelters that need your assistance.

There are so many animals that have lost their homes or been abused. These shelters are doing everything in their power to help reduce the number of animals on the street, while finding deserving pets a loving home.

My favorite organization is Lost Our Home Pet Rescue in Tempe, AZ. Check them out when you get a chance!

So, do you feel compelled to give? If you do, what charity is important to you? Let me know your thoughts!

 

Atticus Found His Furever Home

I’m back! I apologize for the lateness in posting, but it has been quite hectic here in Phoenix, AZ (not to mention a little warm…) With kids getting out of school, and my day job offering overtime, I have not been able to sit down for two seconds and write. It feels good to be back! The funny thing is, I am sharing a story from a good friend on his favorite pet…who is a big, goofy, lovable, opinionated, and fuzzy Maine Coon named Atticus.

It may have taken a while, but Atticus is now in his furever home with his good buddy, James… Enjoy the story. It will warm your heart.

Meeting Atticus

The phone vibrated next to me.

Hey. Are you ready?

Is this really happening?

Yes. You’re going to go over to her place right now.

Okay.

I sigh as I pocket my cell phone and get up from my couch. A minute later, I’m outside wearing a hoodie and flip-flops walking across the parking lot of my apartment complex. It was December in Arizona, and it was a chilly 40 degrees. Blinking incandescent lights lit the chilly night. A car door slams as I cross the lot and head towards my destination.


This story begins roughly eight months ago with my best friend Gabriela. Gabriela lives in a small house with three dogs. For a time, she decided to rent out one of her rooms for a young woman to help pay her mortgage for a time. This young woman had a rather friendly cat who was able to tolerate the attention from three very unique dogs.

I was introduced to the pair a week after they moved in with Gabriela and learned that the young woman was Kate and the cat was Atticus. Kate was in her early- to mid-twenties and had the air of a youth who was still trying to figure things out. Atticus was a large Maine Coon-ish type of cat who freely came up to say hello. At this moment in time, Kate seemed to be heading in the right direction. She had a steady job with a good pay and was on her way to being able to support herself.


The dark brown apartment door stood in front of me. Next to me was a young man who seemed friendly enough, yet his eyes flashed a challenge as I awaited a response to my knock. Kate answered the door and took us both in. It was clear that she expected one of us. She looked harried and nervous, a far cry to when I first met her.

She beckoned us both inside and I saw Atticus look up at us with his curious big green eyes. There was nervous twitch in his tail as he walked around the small apartment. His carrier sat in the middle of the living area.

“Okay. Let’s get this done quickly,” Kate announced as she closed the door. She walked over to Atticus who quickly disappeared under the couch.


Three months had passed from my introduction with Kate and Atticus. Kate had moved in with a boyfriend and had taken Atticus with her. Gabriela was both grateful of the experience with a roommate and thankful to be alone again in her home with her three dogs.

I received a phone call one weekend afternoon from Gabriela. She was in a frantic mood and rushed through a flurry of events that I asked to be repeated. Kate was moving back in. She had broken up with her boyfriend after he abused her.

The young man, who was introduced as James, helped Kate lift the couch causing Atticus to dart out and seek refuge in the bedroom.

Kate ran after him, all pretense of calm evaporating from her as she did. I stood there taking everything in with my hands in the pockets of my hoodie. It was still a little surreal to me that I was in this apartment about to be given a cat.

Kate reappeared with Atticus in her arms. A look of panic gleamed in his eyes as she stuffed him in the carrier, which now appeared to be a size too small for him.

“Okay,” she said once the deed was done. “I have his food in a plastic container. He likes fish flavoring. I also have a can of pumpkin sauce and his litter box as well. Finally, he likes to watch the water move as he drinks it, so I have this drinking fountain. I’m not sure if it works though.”

Her words are spilling out of her mouth. I’ve gone to crouching by the too small carrier to comfort Atticus. He had begun to meow in protest.

“He’ll be fine,” I finally say looking up at Kate. I try to sound as calm as possible. Kate’s eyes and posture relax. “I’ll make two trips. I’ll get him over first and then come back for the rest.”


Gabriela was frantic at work. Atticus had just learned how to operate the doggie door.

Four months had passed since Kate had moved back in. She was no longer with Gabriela at this point in time. She had decided to stay for only a month before she had set out to find a place on her own. In the meantime, Atticus had remained with Gabriela.

I was sitting with Gabriela in the break room listening as she detailed her attempts to get Kate to pick up Atticus.

“If, and this is a big if,” Gabriela began. She looked me directly in the eyes. “If I can’t get Kate to pick up her cat. You’re the only person I can trust that would be able to be a good home for him.”

We had talked often about me getting a pet of some sort. I had taken care of Gabriela’s dogs for four months a year ago due to an emergency. I preferred cats.

“I guess that can work…”


Atticus’ meows had slowed as I carried him across the parking lot to my apartment. I had tried to calm him with “It’s going to okay” and “You’ll be fine.” Maybe just hearing soothing words helped – I wasn’t sure.

“Here we are,” I announced as we entered my apartment.

I carefully placed the all too small carrier on the floor in the middle of the living area and unzipped the top. Atticus timidly peered out and took a quick scan of his new environment before leaping out and exploring.

“I’ll be right back.”

I left the apartment and headed across the lot to Kate’s pad.


Okay, this might be happening. I finally contacted Kate and she was mulling it over.

I sat at my desk at the office looking down at the new text. It had been less than a week since Gabriela and I even talked about my adopting a cat, let alone adopt Atticus.

Where does she live? I texted back.

The response had come back lightning quick. Believe it or not, but she lives in the same apartment complex as you.

You’ve got to be kidding me.


The second trip to Kate’s had been a quick one. She waited around as I collected Atticus’ litter box and food. She barely acknowledged what was happening. We stared at each other right before I left.

I wasn’t prepared for a speech, so I said the cheesiest lines I could think of. “He’ll be fine. I’ll take good care of him. And, you’re free to come visit any time. I’m right across the way.”

She nodded and seemed to be on the edge of tears. We both said good night and I made my way back to my apartment.

“I’m back.”

Atticus stuck his head from around the bedroom door before disappearing. I placed the food and litter box in their respective places and called out to Atticus. There was no response and I headed into the bedroom. Atticus was nowhere to be found. Knowing cats as I do, I got down to the ground and found a pair of green eyes staring at me from under the bed.


It’s been seven months since I adopted Atticus and we’ve bonded better than expected. We both have a laid back attitude and we both love to take naps during the day. He has claimed my computer chair as his own and frequently demands I vacate it to allow him a chance to curl up and sleep.

He keeps me going throughout the day and I’m sure to post more about him in the future.

Thank you for reading.

Conclusion

I love this story. You can see what Atticus has been through; the uncertainty ad the instability. On the other side,  you can see from the perspective of James, that Atticus was not going to be “rehomed” again. His home environment provided the stability and safety that Atticus needed and desired. I love that James was open to bring an unknown cat into his home, no questions asked.  Atticus needed help, and James was there. There is stability and love…with no judgment.

Many times, these kinds of stories can end with a heartbreaking conclusion; however, Atticus found his human. He didn’t end up in a shelter or in someone else’s home where he would be neglected. He found someone who would love him; all of him, despite his history.

And as you can see…Atticus is quite content in his new furever home.

Tell me what you think. Did you enjoy reading Atticus’ story? Do you have a similar story you would like to share? Let me know in the comments below.

I Want to Know Your Story

I was looking back at the comments on some of the posts, and I can see the love you have for your pets. If you are like me, you can talk about your pets all day to whomever will listen! So…why not create a post or a page specifically for that idea?

I want to know your story. Tell me about your favorite pet! I will list different categories you can choose from, or you can send in a story for all categories. The more the better.

Current Pets

This category is for those furry friends we have in our lives right now. How did you meet? How did they get their name? What makes them fit in your family?

For example, I adopted Hunter, our cat, from Lost Our Homes pet shelter this past year. When I took my three boys (and 2 others…what was I thinking?!), we were looking for a cat who was confident, would get along with others, and who would be okay with a loud home environment. My middle son gravitated towards Hunter (known as Julio at the time) and due to his looks and playfulness, my son and his friend decided to name him Hunter. This cat rules the house and the two big dogs that live here as well. He fits in at home due to his laid back attitude, his patience with the kids, and his playfulness with everyone.

Pets That Have Passed Over the Rainbow Bridge

This category is for the pets who have passed over the Rainbow Bridge, but who have left a special paw print on our hearts. I would love to hear their story, and how you met. What made them special to you? Did they help you through rough times, or was there a special circumstance that brought them into your life?

My example would be my baby, Roc. We adopted him at Arizona Animal Welfare League when he was 6 years old, and he lived to be almost 17 years old. Within those 10 years, he helped me through so much of the ups and downs of life, be it from job changes, pregnancy and miscarriages, and even relationship troubles. Roc will always have a special place in my heart because he taught me so much about myself, but also how valuable pets are to a family.

Silly Pets

Do you have a silly pet? Let’s talk about their silliness here. What makes them stand out to you? Do they have a special quirk or habit that you can’t stop giggling at? Have they had this habit since you adopted them, or is it something they started doing recently?

I have to say Beckham is my silly boy. He is 100+ pounds of fluff with no regard to personal space. Anytime I sit down on the couch, he comes up, and literally sits on my lap like he is a small dog. Oh…but it doesn’t stop there. Once he has made himself comfortable, he will roll over to lay on his back (with his back end still over my lap), open his belly up, and demand belly scritches. If I don’t pet him, he turns into a pretzel to give me a look of “Hello??? Why are you not petting me?” I don’t think I have seen a dog that big and that flexible before, but Beckham can fold himself up!

Don’t Forget the Hero, Too!

Do you have, or have you had a service pet in your family? Maybe you have a pet who has been able to save lives (yours or others) that you want to share stories about. What was the situation, and how did your pet become a hero? Did you know when you adopted them that there was something much more inside of them?

I would love to hear stories about service or rescue animals, therapy pets, or those special stories where your pet’s intuition saved a life.

It’s Up to You

I look forward to seeing the stories come in, and I am excited to dedicate a page specifically to your pets. Let’s see how many stories we can get, and maybe we will make a series of it!

You can email me your story and attach a picture to share at kelly@berniersmith.com, or you can leave a comment below. I can’t wait to see and hear all about your fur babies (or not so furry babies)!

Grumpy Cat’s Death

We have all heard about Grumpy Cat’s death this week, and even as we are mourning the loss of a silly cat, I think it would be nice to look back on her life. Let’s get an idea as to who Grumpy Cat was, why she was a success in the meme world, and why this illness took her life so suddenly.

Who Was Grumpy Cat?

Tardar Sauce, aka Grumpy Cat was a domestic mixed breed cat who was born April 4, 2012, and passed over the Rainbow Bridge on May 13, 2019. She made her home in Morristown, AZ, which is a small town 50 miles north of Phoenix. Even though she was born to healthy parents, Grumpy Cat had a form of feline dwarfism and an underbite that made her look…well…grumpy.

Why Was Grumpy Cat A Success

Grumpy Cat became an internet phenomenon quite honestly. Her owner’s brother (does that make him her uncle?) posted a photo of her on Reddit, and her fame blew up. She then became a great icon for internet memes.

Now, we can understand why her photos are all the rage. First, how many of us get caught up in cat videos, pictures, posts, and even merchandise? With her cute underbite and her feline dwarfism, she exudes the look of dissatisfaction that we feel as humans. Second, the internet is an amazing marketing tool. Once something catches, it can go viral quickly. Grumpy Cat’s humans, or hoomans, were smart in how they marketed her good looks. Third, I believe Grumpy Cat portrayed what we think, but don’t want to say. Yes, it is cute and funny, but there is always truth in jest, right?

Once Grumpy Cat became the face for memes, her owner was able to build on her popularity. This gorgeous gal had a Facebook account with 8.3 million followers, an Instagram account with 2.4 million followers, 1.5 million followers on Twitter, AND her own website with merch. Not only did she make friends online, she also did ads for large corporations as well as made personal appearances on live TV. It sounds like she was a pretty chill cat when it came to travel, which is good, considering all the media exposure she received. According to Wikipedia, her brand made upwards an estimated $1million in revenue over her lifetime.

The Illness that Took Her Life

Unfortunately, Grumpy Cat was taken from us too soon. She passed over the Rainbow Bridge due to complications from a urinary tract infection, with her family by her side. There is a lot of buzz around her death and if it was preventable; if she didn’t receive care in time, or if because of her deformities, it was expected. So…let’s talk about UTIs.

According to VCA Hospitals, cats can contract urinary tract disorders; however, urinary tract infections are less common. Even if it is uncommon, it is good to know what it is.

A urinary tract infection is when bacteria travels up the urethra, makes it to the bladder, and then grows. Urine is generally sterile, but if bacteria grows in the bladder, bladder stones can grow, or your cat may have other medical issues arise.

Symptoms of a UTI will be:

  • Painful urination
  • frequent urinating small amounts
  • blood in the urine
  • straining to urinate
  • yowling / crying out when trying to urinate
  • lethargy
  • Urinating throughout the house
  • licking the genitals
  • A stronger urine odor

Personal Note: My cat, Abel, had a UTI, but I am pretty sure it led to kidney failure, and it came on quickly. Unfortunately, we had to humanely euthanize him as his kidneys were too far gone, but, depending on the situation, and if you are able to get your cat to the vet quickly, you may be able to make a difference between life and death.

There are also certain things that may contribute to recurrent UTIs. If a cat has diabetes, or bladder stones, may be predisposed, but any cat can contract an infection.

Was Grumpy Cat predisposed to UTIs? It’s hard to tell… we don’t have access to her medical files, and her accounts don’t give details on if she suffered from any illness through the years. I think this was more of a fluke, even for a seven-year-old cat. My Abel, passed away at five, so I understand the shock and sheer sadness from a relatively healthy pet.

Grief Felt Across the World

I love seeing the condolences and heart felt comments regarding Grumpy Cat’s death. Even though she was an internet sensation due to her scowling face, she brought so much to people throughout the world.

The grief felt by all those who loved her memes, merchandise, and overall good looks, is great. I honestly didn’t think a cat could make such a difference in everyone’s lives, but apparently, I was wrong.

There are a few things we can do to commemorate Grumpy Cat’s life:

1. Take our pets to the vet to ensure optimal health.
2. Donate money to our favorite pet shelter
3. Volunteer at our favorite pet shelter
4. Spay and Neuter!
5. Stop blaming Grumpy Cat’s parents for her death. (It could have happened to anyone)
6. Love on our pets, because we don’t know when they might travel across the Rainbow Bridge.
7. Be kind to others who have lost their pet to illness.
8. Did I mention spay and neuter?
9. Research breeds and pedigrees to better understand your fur baby
10. Upload your cutest fur baby picture on my site, on my Facebook/Instagram/Twitter pages!

So What Now?

I loved the idea of Grumpy Cat; her looks, her confidence….and I am sad that she has passed away. BUT! There is so much we can learn from her life and her death. We have ideas, symptoms, and markers to look for in our own cats, but we also can have compassion for those who go through this with their own fur babies. They may not be as famous as Grumpy Cat; however, they are the heart and soul of their own families.

Take a moment and upload your comments, stories, and photos of your favorite feline. Tell me their stories. I would love to hear about them!

 

Sources used: https://vcahospitals.com/know-your-pet/urinary-tract-infections-utis-in-cats

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grumpy_Cat

Why Do People Abandon Their Pets?

Okay, today I am going rogue…a bit away from how to cope with the loss of a pet. The reason why I am diverting from the norm, is because I have seen some really frustrating, maddening stories, and I need to vent. On Facebook, I have a number of groups that I am a part of regarding pets. There is Straydar (which is super helpful!), Alaskan Malamutes groups, I Love My Dog groups, community pages, local shelters, as well as friends who either work in shelters, animal behavior, or vets.

Outside of the pets who have been hit by cars or stolen, the most aggravating stories I see are people bringing their pets to the county shelters because they can’t or won’t care for them anymore. Why? Why do people abandon their pets to a shelter where they know the likely outcome is death?

Reason 1 – People Problems

Yes, this is a vague statement, but think about it. How many times have you heard excuses, I mean reasons, as to why a person can’t keep a pet. (It’s not you, it’s me….) There are both valid and ridiculous reasons to surrender your pet, and unfortunately, it is hard to differentiate between the two based on individual situations.

Here are some basic examples of valid versus invalid reasons.

Valid Reasons:

  • You have passed away
  • You are extremely ill to where you are unable to provide care for your pet
  • You are incarcerated
  • Your immediate family members are deathly allergic, and cannot be near your pet
  • Your financial ability to care for the pet has been compromised (although, there is a fine line on this one)

Invalid Reasons:

  • You moved out of state or to a home that doesn’t allow pets
  • Your significant other just doesn’t like your pet
  • You had a new baby
  • You don’t have time for your pet
  • The pet is too expensive
  • The list goes on.

As you can see there are valid reasons, and I do not fault the person who has done everything they can to provide for their pet. Unfortunately, there are times when the best decision is to rehome the pet(s).

On the flip side, too many people send pets to the county shelters or just drop them off in a different neighborhood for asinine reasons. I think there are a few reasons for this:

1. Education: So many people think a pet is cute, and to satisfy their want, they buy a pet without doing the research on the pet and how to care for them. For example, an Alaskan Malamute may not be the best pet for someone who hates to clean up fur, or who cannot learn that the breed requires leadership and training. How about a Jack Russel Terrier…they are high energy, high intellect dogs, who need to be working to keep themselves out of trouble.

2. The Cuteness Factor: We have paedomorphized pets in the media. (Aren’t cat videos the most watched videos on YouTube?) Movies and cartoons as well as some social media outlets show pets as big-eyed, lovable, squishy beings that only need food and love. Why not get one, right?

3. The Underdog: So this one may be a little more controversial. I think we have done a disservice in some ways for the pets that are seen as bully breeds. Animal welfare organizations and breed warriors have done so much to prove that these breeds are not as bad as people once saw them, that everyone wants one now. Take into consideration (especially in the SW), shelters are filled to capacity with these mostly Pitbulls. Why? Everyone wants to prove they have a good dog…and when they realize they don’t know how to train or care for them, they end up back behind bars.

Reason 2 – Animal Problems

Yep, this one is just as vague…and is the reason I am writing this post. There are various reasons why a pet may be rehomed or sent to a kill shelter because of who they are. Again, there are valid reasons as well as ridiculous reasons.

Valid Reasons:

  • They are aggressive towards people
  • They are aggressive towards other animals

Invalid Reason:

  • They are sick
  • They are old
  • They have allergies
  • They are injured
  • They have some behavior issues

As you can see, there are fewer valid reasons to rehome a pet based on their quirks. If a pet is legitimately aggressive, then, yes, I agree they are not suited for your home; however, my hope would be that you work with the pet as much as possible to see what the root cause of the aggression is and if there is a way to correct it.

If it is true aggression, where your pet would not be safe in any other home, you should have the pet humanely euthanized at your vet’s office; not taken to a shelter or dropped off in another neighborhood (or desert!). This allows your pet to understand that you are with them until the end, but it also doesn’t subject others to your pet’s behavior. In addition, your pet sees his family instead of strangers in a strange place prior to passing over the Rainbow Bridge.

The entire reason I started writing this post is because of the invalid reasons. We have to understand our pets don’t have control over getting old or sick or having allergies, nor do they understand why they got hit by a car or attacked by a hawk. Our pets rely on us to care for their needs, to speak up for them, and…not abandon them in their time of need.

Story Time

My mom adopted 2 of her puppies from an amazing rescue in the Phoenix area who specialize in wounded, sick, and old dogs that are brought into the county shelter. These dogs would be euthanized within days of arrival because the shelter did not have the resources to bring them back to health.

The owner of the non-profit has an incredible heart specifically for these dogs. Even if her shelter / sanctuary is at capacity, she does everything she can to pull the dog from the county shelter, have the medical needs cared for, and allow the pet to live out the rest of their days in a loving environment. Her and the volunteers want these dogs to know they are not alone in their journey. Not only do they bring these broken dogs in, they work to help others in the community who are struggling to care for their dogs medical needs.

Meet Teddy. He was adopted last year, but brought back to the shelter due to medical issues. A good Samaritan adopted him; however, needed help in obtaining funds to care for the multiple medical issues that Teddy was dealing with. Teddy’s leg was badly infected, has multiple tumors, and open wounds. He had ear infections in both ears, and they are waiting to hear back on if he has Valley Fever or Cancer.

Thank God for the donors and the owner of the non-profit who helped Teddy. If they had scrolled past the story from the county shelter, Teddy would have been euthanized.

The Reason for My Rant

Our pets need us. They rely on us to care for them, and to speak for them. Our pets don’t understand why we would send them away or abandon them. They expect to be a part of the family…like they were when they were young and/or healthy.

Why do people think it is a shelter’s responsibility to fix what they couldn’t or didn’t…? Is it because they don’t care, or is it lack of education? Is there something that society or the community can do to combat this human behavior? How can we spread the word that non-profit shelters need financial help and volunteers/fosters to fix the wrongs the person has done?

These pets are hurting, either physically, mentally, or both. And…we are not in an era where they can fend for themselves. They have become so reliant on our care that it is not fair to dump them in their hour of need.

So, what can we do?

1. Don’t get a pet unless you have researched the breed, pedigree, gender, size…everything… You need to understand what it is going to take to care for a pet, from basic needs to potentially poor health.

2. Don’t go with the “awww” factor. You need to add a family member that jives with your family. A Jack Russel may not mix with a quiet, sedentary lifestyle…

3. Do look into pet insurance. There are some plans out there that will be highly beneficial for the pet that you bring into the family. For example, if you have a puppy or kitten, a basic policy will help cover basic procedures, but also catastrophic events at a really good cost.

4. Do think about your lifestyle and how a pet will fit into it. Do you work crazy hours? Are you someone who likes to go on adventures? What type of home do you live in or where are you moving to?

5. Do understand your pet will get sick, injured, and old. Remember that they will be a part of the family to the end. If you feel that you are unable to care for them at those points, please do not get a pet.

6. Do donate to the shelters that care for these sick and aging pets. Without your help, they cannot give the pets the medical attention needed or the food to sustain them.

Final Thoughts

It’s not fair to our pets or the shelters to abandon them when our pet needs us the most. It’s selfish. Just because you think your heart may break because your pet is dying is a terrible reason for you to have someone else take care of the end process. Your pet needs you…and you need your pet.

If you are struggling to care for your pet’s medical needs, contact shelters in your community. Many of them offer free or low cost clinics to ensure your pets are healthy.

If you absolutely need to rehome a pet, go through the local organizations as well. They will be able to help you or tell you if your pet can be rehomed.

Overall, take responsibility. You adopted a pet, brought them into the family, and cared for them. That responsibility does not stop when they get sick, injured, or old.

Let me know your thoughts. I would love to hear what you have to say on this topic.

5 Crystals for the 5 Stages of Grieving

Hi Everyone! I am so excited to introduce a guest blogger, Rebecca from Comfort Connects. She has a really cool site that has products you can purchase, a blog you can read, as well as materials to help you through the grief process. Her goal is to help those through the 5 stages of grieving process by creating and preserving memories.

As we discussed in the stages of grief blog, there are five stages of grief we experience in the event of a loss (some people split it into seven, but the original is 5 stages!) In this blog, she discusses certain crystals for the five stages of grieving, and how each crystal will help you heal.

Check it out! You can also check out her site for more information here.

5 Crystals for the 5 Stages of Grieving5 Crystals for the 5 Stages of Grieving

Crystals are therapeutic gemstones that can help you heal spiritually, emotionally, physically, and mentally. Each crystal has different properties that can help you in different areas of your life.

Many stones provide you with a sense of peace and comfort as you work through bottled emotions and difficult experiences. Crystals can help you through grief and loss by providing you with positive energies while balancing your emotions.

Some healing crystals will help you experience your suppressed feelings and offer an opportunity for you to work through them. This is especially important when dealing with loss as we need to work through our feelings in order to heal. They say that time heals pain, but only if you work with that pain.

1st Stage: Denial – Rhodonite

Rhodonite is known as the emotional healing stone. During difficult times, Rhodonite is great for projecting a calming effect to help keep us centered.

This stone helps to heal our emotional wounds while activating the heart for love again. Through grief and loss, Rhodonite helps to bring the grief to the surface.

This is a difficult experience but important as it allows us to experience the guilt while providing us with the opportunity to learn ways to let go of it.

2nd Stage: Guilt – Rose Quartz

Rose quartz is known as the love stone. Using a rose quartz will allow you to love yourself, which will help to dissolve the feelings of guilt.

Through balancing emotions, rose quartz helps to bring peace and clear any negative emotions. Rose quartz encourages us to keep our heart and mind open while helping us move on when the time is right.

Being open will allow to love yourself and others around you, healing you from the negative attributes in your life.

3rd Stage: Anger – Amethyst

Amethyst is known for stress relief while promoting a sense of peace. This healing crystal helps us through grief with its calming properties to overcome painful experiences.

This stone also deeply cleanses our body and mind, while enabling us to think more rationally, reducing our anger and negative emotions. Amethyst is a protection stone that will help guard us from future negativity.

4th Stage: Depression – Smoky Quartz

Smoky Quartz is one of the best stones for grounding you during overwhelming stress and depressive times. This quartz absorbs negativity providing us with the chance to live with more clarity and the positive energy we need.

Smoky Quartz is a calming stone that removes fear and lifts our mood, bringing positivity back into your life.

5th Stage: Acceptance and hope – Chrysocolla

Chrysocolla is known for its calming effects, compassionate and forgiving properties. A peaceful stone that stimulates balance and wholeness through the release of our bottled emotions.

Chrysocolla enables you to think more clearly and is known for relieving emotional strain. It’s positive energy is important for self-expression and encourages acceptance.

Conclusion – 5 Crystals for the 5 Stages of Grieving

It is difficult enough to lose a pet, but it is even harder to grapple with every stage of grief you will experience after that loss. These crystals may help you in your healing process.

They will help keep you centered and calm. They will help you release the guilt and the anger and help you begin to forgive yourself and your pet. Why not give them a try?

I would love to hear your thoughts. Have crystals helped you, and how?

Leave me a message below, and I will get back with you.

Pets and Wine – A Winning Combination

Stoney Creek Wine Press Review

Name: Stoney Creek Wine Press

Website: https://www.stoneycreekwinepress.com/index.cfm?dealerid=1936

Price: Varies

Owners: Richard Smith and Derrick Carter

Overall Rank: 4.5 out of 5

Customized Wine Labels, Product Overview

Stoney Creek is a place to go to print out personalized wine, beer, and even jam labels for special occasions or for special loved ones. They have multiple types of labels you can choose from, but they also have an option where you can upload your own photo or design.

The label editor will display your chosen design along with customized text fields where you can personalize it to your needs. You have the ability to edit text, colors, shapes, and material for your label. Once you are done editing the label, you can view it on a 3-D Bottle Preview. Choose the bottle type, size, and color, to see how your label looks.

Once you order the labels, a designer is assigned to your order. You have the ability to work closely with them to ensure the label is exactly what you need. If you have any questions or concerns, the designer you are working with will be the one to help you.

The labels will take approximately 48-72 hours to process, and another 3-5 days to ship. For those ordering in the U.S., the shipment comes from Washington state in first class, so you should receive your labels within 1 – 3 business days.

The Good & the Bad

Pros:

  • The labels are fully customizable. You can upload your own pictures or designs.
  • After the order is processed, you deal with one person. There is no calling into a call center where you speak to a different person every time.
  • You can view your label in 3-D to ensure it looks good. There is no questioning how it will look on the wine or beer bottle.

Cons:

  • It is hard to estimate the cost. You need to play around in the system to find how much it may cost.
  • They don’t ship wine or beer…just labels. (Although, they do work with a couple of wineries to create the full package.)

Who is Customized Wine Label For?

I thought this idea would be amazing for those who have lost a pet or who want to create a keepsake for their pets. It is completely customizable, so you can upload a favorite picture or memory and add it to a favorite wine bottle or beer stein. It is a smaller version of a portrait, so it will fit in many small, decorative places.

Want to have fun with your pets and customized labels? This is a possibility too. When I was looking into these labels, I thought of a few ideas such as “Roc’s Roooose” or “Beckham’s Brew”… Maybe “Nuka’s Limited Edition for all Moms Who Need a Glass of Wine Now”. Okay, that may be a bit much, but it gives you an idea on how you can create your own special label with your pet.

The nice thing is, glass bottles can be re-purposed for decoration. You can add flowers, sands, or beads…even your pet’s ashes. I am super creative like that, but I am sure there are tons of ideas out there in Pinterest or Google.

 

My Final Opinion of Customized Wine Labels by Stoney Creek

I really like this idea. I think it is a creative way to commemorate special relationships, and have fun while doing so. Customized labels can be added to wine bottles, beer bottles, jam containers, but you can also use them for art projects or when you are creating a memorial for your pet.

I also like the idea because pets and wine go hand in hand. We all love our pets, and wine has become a hot commodity, so why not create a customized wine label that commemorates the bond you have with your pet? I mean…when you are having a glass of wine, where does your pet usually sit? Mine? Across my lap or right next to me.

Tell me what you think…have you had any experience with Stoney Creek Wine Press? How do you rate them?

Helping Kids Cope with the Loss of a Pet

Not only do we grieve the loss of our pets, our children go through their own grieving process as well. Most kids are highly expressive and are more willing to show their sorrow than adults. I was thinking about how to help kids cope with the loss of a pet after writing the blog on the stages of grief.

I wanted to show how we as parents, friends, or friends can help our kids cope by utilizing creative ideas, books, and just listening. With our help, our children will better understand how to work through their emotions at this sad time.

Helping Kids Cope with the Loss of a PetThe Friendship Between Kids and Their Pets

If your kids are anything like mine, they become attached to their pets…fast! My oldest son became best friends with our Malamute as a baby. It was the same with my youngest. My middle son saved his heart for our cat, Hunter…but when they met, I could tell it was love at first sight.

My boys would request I take pictures of them with their best friends. They wanted me to send them to teachers or print them out. I would receive requests to make plaques or send the portraits to any art museum that would take them. Ok, so the last few are a little embellished, but you understand where I am going with this. These pets meant the world to my kids.

It’s So Hard to let them go

So what happens when it is time to let one pass over the rainbow bridge? How do our kids feel about it and what do they understand about our pet’s death?

It is difficult enough to work through my own grief, but add three boys who are struggling to cope with their loss? It is brutal.

I am sure it is the same scenario for your family.  Your kids and pets are inseparable. Do you know how to help them work through the grieving process when the time comes?

Ideas to Help Kids Grieve the Loss of Their Pet

Reading an article from Psychology today, Roxanne Hawn, author of “Heart Dog: Surviving the Loss of Your Canine Soul Mate”, offered some ideas that may help in the grieving process.

  • Marking time: If your pet is diagnosed with a terminal illness, you can start a gratitude ritual that your children can participate in. Find something your pet can still do. If it is walk to a certain part of the yard, maybe put a notch in the tree or a stone in the yard each day they are still able to make it that far. If it is a terminal illness, maybe put a stone, a penny, a love note in a jar each day their best friend is alive. Allow them to come up with some ideas too. Kids are creative, and I am sure they will think of something cool.
  • Let your child have a memento of your lost pet. My mother-in-law cut some of Roc’s fur and placed it in a baggie for each kid. My vet puts a little fur in a mini bottle. My mom, keeps her dog’s collar and tags on her purse. Find something that will comfort your kids, that helps them to remember the good times.
  • Bowl of memories:  This can also be an opportunity to help your kids through their grieving process. Everyone in the family can write down individual good memories on little slips of paper, and put them in a bowl. When your kids become sad, they can pull out a memory to read.
  • Videos: How many kids love watching videos of themselves and their pets? One way to help preserve the good memories, is to put together a video or a slide show of your pets to watch. When the kids feel down, they can go to the computer, phone, iPad, tablet…whatever you have the video downloaded onto, and watch it to remember their furbaby.
  • A candle / LED light (candle): I found this interesting, as you can place a light next to a picture of your pet or in a special place. The candle represents hope and life, and it can help your kids remember the good times they had when their pet was alive.
  • Portraits: This can be a game changer. Kids are visual. When they lose a pet, they don’t get to see their pet again. Routines can become difficult, because their furbaby may not be laying in the hall when they brush their teeth.  They may not be at their feet when doing homework. A visual reminder is such a great idea, because it brings your kids eyes to their best friend. These can be kept in a prominent place, or if your child prefers, in their room, so they have it close to them when they sleep.

honesty is the best policy

The most important thing to do is be honest! Your kids are smart, and they know something’s up when a pet goes missing. Involve them in the discussion and possibly (depending on their age) the decision to euthanize.

For example, my oldest son was 7 when he decided he was going to be at Roc’s side when he passed over the Rainbow Bridge. I allowed him to make this decision because of his maturity level at the time, but also because I explained exactly what would happen at the vet’s office.

My other two sons were not involved, and my mother-in-law took them away from the house during that time. We explained why Roc was no longer at home, but they were too young to be in the room when Roc was euthanized.

Last moments

It will be difficult, but don’t lie to your kids. Don’t tell them that you took them to a ranch somewhere up North, where they can run freely. This is actually going to make their grieving process harder because they will think that their pet may have a chance of returning. It’s okay to be vulnerable and sad with your kids. They will understand…and will thank you in the long run.

Books That Can Help Your Kids

If you have questions on how to help your kids through the grieving process, there are a number of books that may help:

Conclusion

We all grieve the loss of our beloved pets; adults, kids…even our other pets. So, how do we at least help our children through the process safely and fully?

We need to be there for them. Even if we are grieving ourselves, our children need our help. There are certain activities we can involve them in to help in the process, but there are also books that can help you to help them. I hope the ideas provided will help you in that time.

Let me know your thoughts or if you had other ideas on how to work through this. I would love to hear from you! Just leave a note below, and I will get back with you.

Sources used: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/adoption-stories/201507/6-family-friendly-ways-help-kids-grieve-after-pet-loss

How Soon is Too Soon to Adopt a New Pet?

The grieving process is different for everyone. Some people may go through it relatively quickly, and some may take years to get over the loss of their pet. Once we can see a glimmer of light, a question starts to surface. “Am I ready to open my heart to a new pet?” So, how soon is too soon to adopt a new pet; to open our hearts and homes? It seems like an easy question; however, it is also going to be different for everyone.

When my mom had to let her dog Grizzly pass over the Rainbow Bridge, she was so hurt that she did not want to bring in a new pet at all. The loss of Grizzly was so painful, she struggled with the knowledge that if she were to welcome another pet into the family, her heart would break again.

I understood that mentality; but I also felt that opening my heart to a new fur baby had benefits that outweighed the grief… like Alfred Lord Tennyson’s saying…’Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”

Here are some questions to ask yourself when you are looking to add a new member to your family.

How Are you Coping with the Loss?

Take time to work through your grief. Don’t rush the process. You have just lost a loved one, so it is ok to feel sad, lonely, and depressed. It’s also ok to feel relieved, especially if your pet had suffered a long term illness. Check in with yourself to see how you are feeling. Can you see a glimmer of light or is everything still too dark? If you were to adopt a new pet, would it only cause you to look back at the pet you lost, or will you be able to look to the future?

Only you will know when you are ready.

Is Your Family Ready?

Just like you, your family is also going through the grieving process. Since there is no specific timeline on when you should be done grieving, it is important to consider your partner and children in the decision. Do they feel ready? Are they still struggling with losing their fur baby? Do they understand that the new pet is not going to be the same as the one they just lost?

Have conversations to check in with each other. Be honest with your family, and ask them to be honest with you. If someone is not quite ready to accept a new fur family member, respect their decision, and see if there is anything you can do to help them through the grieving process.

If you have other pets in the household, they may be grieving the loss as well. For example, if you have another dog in the household, he or she may be mourning the loss of their friend, but that does not mean that adding a new dog into the household will make them happy. Watch your pet’s body language, eating habits, and moods. When you see they have returned to their normal self, you may be able welcome another fur baby into the family.

What are My Expectations?

A new pet will not be anything like the pet that has crossed over the Rainbow Bridge. Do not expect a new fur baby to act like your other pet. They have their own personalities, quirks, behaviors, and their own way of showing love to you.

My dog, Roc, was an 85lb red Malamute who wooed and roooed for his dinner. He got so excited to go on walks, and loved hanging with his family. He did not mark anywhere in the house, was not destructive, but he did counter surf.

Now, I have two Mals who are completely different from Roc. Nuka, my 85lb female, is timid around other people, but is super goofy around her immediate family. Beckham, my 140lb male, loves people, hates car rides, and is the “fun police” when Nuka is goofy.

If I had expected Beckham and Nuka to be just like Roc, I would have been sorely disappointed. Honestly, I would have resented my decision to adopt them which could have made for a difficult living situation for a while.

When you begin to look for a new pet, please remember to wipe the slate clean. Go in with an open mind and an open-heart, and know you are not going to find a pet just like the one you lost. Each one is special in their own right, and you will love them for all of their little quirks.

Is this a Hasty Decision?

Rushing into a decision (any decision) can have a negative outcome. Don’t push yourself or let anyone else push you into adopting a new pet too soon. You need the time to process your grief, but you also need time to think about the future.

Making a hasty decision can result in the adoption of a pet that does not fit into your family, and the pet may have a higher likelihood of being returned to the shelter or the breeder. A hasty decision can also result in holding a grudge against the pet you just lost as well as the pet you just adopted.

Take your time to think about what you are looking for in a new fur baby. How is this pet going to fit in with your family? Will you have time to train them, to exercise them, and to spend time with them? You will find the perfect match, but it may take time… And that is ok!

Conclusion

I would love to give you a finite number of days, weeks, or months that it takes to go through the grieving process. Unfortunately, everyone processes grief differently which means it is hard to determine how soon is too soon to welcome a new fur baby to the family. I can only tell you that the grief will lessen, and you will move forward.

Once you start thinking about adopting a new pet, consider the questions above. If you can honestly answer them, and understand a new pet is a NEW family member, then it may be time to look at opening your heart to a new family member.

Now you just have to figure out who you want to bring home.

 

I would love to hear your stories and opinions. Leave a message below, and I will respond as soon as possible!